July Meeting Notes
Hi everyone-
This month was our potluck (kind of, Covid style) dinner, bubble launch. We had 15 attendees, including two new folks. I say it each time but it deserves repeating. We know tragic things will keep occurring but it makes us so sad each time a new person comes through the door because we know they have suffered one of the worst events- if only we had the power to stop these things from happening! But we are very grateful that people are able to find us because we know how helpful the group has been and we do not take lightly that strangers put their trust in us to walk beside them.
We had Raising Cane’s chicken- thanks, Ed – and many sweet treats, thanks to all! A mac n cheese casserole and dinner was complete! The weather was perfect for our bubble launch (see photo) and we each shared a little something about our loved one’s life or personality as we sent bubbles to wherever it is you believe to be the next step. I loved hearing some of the silly things the “kids” did, as well as some poignant stories, including:
· One young child would turn on the hose and put it down the front of their pants- thinking it was hysterical……and I am sure it was hysterical to watch!
· Another child somehow ended up barefoot with their bike in the fire—scalding their feet and who knows what damage to the tires. Kids!!!
· One young child, who had a speech impediment making it so they were rarely understood on first try, was out in public with parent and because they had heard talk about food stamps, very loudly and very clearly asked their parent if this was the place to get food stamps. Geesh- how many times have we tried to make believe we don’t know this strange creature next to us saying outrageous things! Gotta love them- sure do miss them!
· Another young child decided to try and ride their bike across a football (what???!!!). Needless to say, it didn’t go well and they ended up with, as we were told, two chins. Of course, school photos were the next day!
· There was a young child who loved theatre from an early age and participated in theatre at Showboat Majestic all the way through high school and then went on to professional theatre as an adult. It was shared the they would sing their way through stores while shopping and soon was known to many of the clerks!
· It was shared a way the family was planning on honoring the memory of their adult child this year (momentous birthday year) by requesting family and friends buy gifts off Chidlren’s Hospital’s Amazon Wish List in his memory.
· There was the story of how their sibling was always so easy to locate when out in public…..being 6’ 5” does have its benefits!
· Another child, from early age, exhibited great art skills and designed many projects out of various mediums.
· There were those who showed a love for all things music throughout life.
· And then there was the child who faced their fears embarking on a climbing wall- got to the top…..and peed. Gravity took place and, well, use your imagination!
Many thanks to all who shared- it is sometimes hard to get going but so much fun to listen to the loving memories.
After dinner and the bubble launch we came back inside and had a sharing session. Our new members had the chance to share some about their grief experience. One person was just months into their “journey” and the other 7 years down the road. There are things unique to each time span and yet also things that never change. We grieve as long as we breathe- hopefully for us all that grief turns from profound debilitating pain to something softer. Hopefully we all get to the point where we can find meaning in life, find ways to honor our children/grandchildren/sibling’s lives as we are their legacy. At some point we can acknowledge that the existence of grief does not rule out the potential for joy.
We talked a lot about how difficult it is to be around people who soon grow weary of our grief. They feel, however wrongly, that talking about our loved ones somehow MAKES us sad. Certainly, there are times and places where we don’t want to go into details, but sharing about our loved one’s life, reminding the world that they did exist and do matter is something we rarely outgrow the need to do. Sometimes we just avoid talking about our experience because we have had so many bad responses/reactions from others. The beauty of TCF- you never have to feel anxious sharing because your stories are always welcome.
It was a busy evening and I am sure I am leaving things out- so sorry if I missed something you shared!
Our August meeting will be general topic with one of our favorite guest facilitators, Jan Borgman. Jan is a social worker, grief counselor, past Bereavement Coordinator at Cincinnati Children’s and now “retired.”
Our July dinner is in the planning stages so watch for emails with details. It will be Thursday, July 20th at 6:30pm.
Kim and Kelly have graciously offered to work on the candle lighting. If you would like to join them in the planning and implementing, let me know. I am sure they will appreciate all the help they can get, as will I.